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recent posts

praying for purity

The house is finally quiet for a bit. My husband took the day away from working so he could spend it with the children. Right after family worship this morning they bundled up and headed out to play in the snow. Well, the ones who were here anyway. We currently have one at college, one working full-time, one working part-time and one volunteering a few hours 3 days a week. The house is emptying and yet things have never seemed so busy. I got up this morning at about 4:15. Things are dark and peaceful then. My mind can release its stress at that hour better than at any other. I usually light a candle or lantern or sometimes I turn on the small lamp given to us by one of the couples the 16 year old works for. I want just enough light so I can read and journal but not …

slow days

  I love the days where I don't have much to do. Where I can casually clean the house, settle on to the couch and read book after book to my little boys, share unrushed chats about life with my girls, hang out with my husband, and even listen for what my older boys aren't saying. I don't get those kind of days often, but I love them when they come. Mostly my life feels a little like a pot of pasta over heat so high it bubbles over. It feels too hot, too full, and too messy. But with time, and age, comes wisdom. And while I still squirm when I'm pushed too hard, I've learned being "busy" isn't always something to run from. Being needed isn't a curse and being in high demand by your people is actually a blessing. This past week was definitely demand-filled. I had the regular stuff of …

hiding

I'm on the road right now. Traveling with my oldest two boys while my younger 6 are at home. They're well-cared for and in excellent hands and yet I've felt all kinds of guilty. Like I should be here but I should be there, too. My husband was traveling in the van today to get the girlies to their piano lesson. He dropped them off and then headed to the eye doctor to pick up my new glasses for me. I've really been struggling with my vision and having near-constant headaches. I'm super hopeful these new glasses will fix all my problems but I won't even get to try them until we get home sometime late tomorrow afternoon. Anyway, while he was waiting in the van he let the boys say hi to me and their little voices just about killed me. Mama, we miss you? Mama, we love you? Mama, are you …

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